fl The copying of either the separate parts or of 
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is forbidden and subject to the penalties provided 
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North America, in force July I, 1909. 

^ Right of performance can only be secured 
through the purchase of copies of this publication, 
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^ The right of performance will not be granted 
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PUBLISHERS 

J. FISCHER & BRO. NEW YORK 

7, 8 & 11, Bible House 



Fischer's Edition 

PLAYS 



for 



YOUNG PEOPLE 



if* 







No. 


Price 




3664 Their Lordships. Two-act com- 






edy for young people net 


.35 




3667 Dear Cyril. Three-act comedy. 






net 


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3736 Anti-Aunts. Three-act comedy. 






net 


.35 




by 






Edith M. Barrows 












TC'^TT'^flL \ 1^ <3to*^(ji&Y^*J^ 





PUBLISHED BY 

J. FISCHER & BRO., NEW YORK 

7, 8 and 11, BIBLE HOUSE 



"The Antl Aunts" 

by 

EDITH M. BURROWS 

Cast of Characters 

Philip Chester President of the ''Anti-Aunts" 

Cara Chester His wife 

Aunt Minerva Davis A problem to be solved 

Jean Seelye A guest of the Chesters 

Victor Merrill A friend of Philip 

Bob Chester Philip's younger brother 

Violet de Bracy Of the theatrical persuasion 

Delia The heartless maid 

Time — The present. 



COPYRIGHT, 1913, BY J. FISCHER & BRO. 
British Copyright Secured. 



Performance Right Reserved. 

(.See Notice Second Page Cover.) 

DEC 26 1913 

J. F. & B. 3736 ii 

©CI.D 35435 



Scene. 

The living-room in the Chcsters apartment. Doors 
at center back and at left near back. On either side 
of center door are book-cases, over which a few good 
pictures hang. There are two windows at right and 
a fireplace at left near front. A couch is placed near 
zvindoius at right. A large reading table is near center 
front, on which is a litter of magazines, books, and 
smoking conveniences. Betzveen the fireplace and left 
door hangs a ra~k of pipes. Under this is an easy 
chair, and several other comfortable chairs in the room 
add to its "lived in" look. On the shelf over the fire- 
place stand two or three framed photographs. At 
right of stage near back is a small table with telephone 
on it. In the first act a small card-table is used, which 
is placed near fireplace on left. 

Act. I. 

TIME — Evening. SCENE — The Chester's living- 
room. 

Curtain rises, disclosing Philip, Cara. lean, and Vic- 
tor in evening dress, seated at card-table in the Ches- 
ter's living-room. 

Philip — Come on, Victor, play the game! You're 
so absent-minded these days one would think you were 
in love. 

Victor — In love? Nonsense! I don't believe in it. 
Love is an exploded theory. 

Cara — Well, I like that, young man ! I'll grant you 
that it has explosive qualities. You want to take good 
care that it doesn't explode anywhere around you, 
though. 

Victor — Your pardon, Mrs. Chester. I'll take it 
back. 

Philip — You'd better. * If you had stuck to that re- 
mark, you'd have been in Cara's bad graces perma- 
nently. 

Jean — We're waiting for your plav again, Mr. Mer- 
rill. 

J. F. & B. 3736 iii 



Victor — Oh, I say — I'm awfully stupid to-night. 
It's only the patience of Job that makes you people 
put up with me. 

(Enter Delia center, with telegram on card tray. 
She offers it to Philip.) 

Delia — Telegram for you, Mr. Chester. 

{Philip takes it and Delia exits left.) 

Philip — Thanks. (Turns it over before opening 
it.) Now what do you suppose is in that beastly thing? 
I hate telegrams ! 

Victor — Well, if that isn't a regular school-girl 
trick. Why don't you open it and see what's in it? 

Philip (Dryly) — Thanks for "them kind words." 
Here goes! (fears open the telegram and reads.) 
Oh, my Lord ! 

Jean — What a remarkable message! Is that all? 

Philip — That's enough, if you did but know it. Here, 
Cara, read this quick. (Hands her the telegram.^ 

Cara (Horrified) — Good gracious, Phil! What shall 
we do? 

Philip— Hanged if I know! (He rises from table 
and paces about the room.) 

Victor — What in creation is in that telegram to 
make such a fuss over? 

Jean — There's no one dead, is there? 

Philip — No such luck. 

Cara — Philip ! 

Philip — Oh, well; show them the telegram. 

Cara (She rises and hands telegram to Victor) — 
Here. 

Jean (She leans over the table and reads the tele- 
gram in Victor s hands) — "Am coming to pay you 
a visit. Expect me to-night. Aunt Minerva Davis." 
Is that all? 

Philip and Cara (Together) — "Is that all!" 

Victor — Evidently, we krtow not Aunt Minerva ! 

Philip — You can thank your lucky stars for that 
deliverance. 

Cara — You oughtn't to speak in that way of her, 
Philip, for she is your own aunt, you know. 

J. F. & B. 3736 iv 



Philip — That's right; rub it in! Well, I didn't 
pick out my aunts, did I? 

Victor — Is it time for me to go? (Rises from the 
table, and pretending to be seared, makes for the cen- 
ter door.) 

Philip (Rushes after Victor and grabs him by the 
coat) — Come back here, you idiot! Would you de- 
sert your friends in their hour of need? (Both men 
come back laughing.) 

Cara — Phil, you go downstairs and beg the janitor 
to put on plenty of steam to-night. You know Aunt 
Minerva hates to be the least bit cool, and I'll go to 
break the news to Delia. That's a job I don't care 
for. She's been awfully independent lately. 

Jean — Can't we do something to help? 

Cara — Just stick by us, and after Aunt Minerva 
comes, there'll be plenty for all of us to do. (Exit Cara 
left.) 

Philip — Well, it's me for the janitor, I suppose. 
(Exit center.) 

Jean — Poor Cara ! That's what comes from marry- 
ing a man with an Aunt Minerva. 

Victor — Yes, in choosing a husband, a girl should 
always pick out a man with as few relatives as pos- 
sible. Now, I have no family at all. 

Jean — Yes, that's very nice — I mean that's too bad ; 
but we were talking about Philip's family, weren't we? 

Victor — To be sure. Do you know anything about 
this Aunt Minerva? 

Jean — Very little. I only know that she's very ec- 
centric, but very rich, and that Philip and Cara are 
her nearest relatives except Bob, whom she detests. 
Xaturally, they are anxious to appear as well as pos- 
sible when she comes here. 

Victor — Ah ! I begin to see the cause of the fam- 
ily's distracted condition. It's a case of ducats, is it? 

Jean — Isn't that a rather horrid way to put it? 

Victor — Perhaps ; but it's the truth, according to 
your own account. Well, we can only wish them good 
luck with Aunt Minerva, and do our part. 

J. F. & B. 3736 V 



(Enter Philip center, with rather a chagrinned 
smile.) Hello! old man, what's the report from the 
lower region? 

Philip — Bad news. The janitor had already reg- 
ulated the heat for the night, and it seems that the 
rules of this place are like the "laws of the Medes 
and Persians, which alter not." I begged and im- 
plored, but nothing doing. If he'd sent up some of 
the hot air that he wasted on me down there, we'd 
have all been roasting. 

Victor {Moving toivard center door)- —Too bad, 
old fellow. Let me have a try at him. 

Philip — No, no; don't! I succeeded in getting him 
so mad that he announced if we didn't like the tem- 
perature of the house, he could recommend a place 
for us all where the heat was guaranteed. (All 
laugh.) If you say anything* now, it would be just 
like him to turn off all the heat and let us shiver. 

Victor — I see. Well, if that's the case, I'd better 
keep out of it. 

Jean (With a wicked gleam in her eye) — Are you 
sure that you can? 

Victor (Surprised) — Can what? 

Jean — Keep out of that place the janitor referred 
to? 

Victor — I'll get even with you yet. (Shakes fist 
at her.) 

(Enter from left Cara, almost in tears.) 

Cara — Oh dear! Oh dear! 

Philip — What's the matter, old girl? Is the Emer- 
ald Isle on a tear? I'll fix her! 

Cara — You can't this time. She's going to leave. 

Philip — Thunder ! When ? 

Cara — Right now. She's packing her things. Says 
she'd made up her mind to give notice anyhow, and 
this news of Aunt Minerva's coming only hastened 
matters. But what am I to do? (Sinks into chair 
in despair.) 

Philip — Whew ! That is pretty bad, for Aunt Min- 
erva is a stickler on having things run by clock-work 

J.F. &B.3736 vi 



in a house. She has plenty of money herself, and 
doesn't realize that people who have to scratch along 
with one maid ever encounter any more domestic jars 
than she does. 

Victor — I'm awfully sorry for you two people. I 
couldn't pose as the butler, could I? 

Philip — Heavens, no, man! She'd say we were 
living beyond our income to sport a butler, and be- 
sides, we'd have to have a maid anyhow. 

Jean (Rising and stepping forward) — Well, then, 
what's to prevent my serving as a maid ? 

Cara — You? Nonsense, Jean; we wouldn't think 
of it. 

Philip — Why, it's preposterous ; but you were 
mighty good to offer. 

Jean — Well, I can't see that it's either nonsensical 
or preposterous. Here you people are stranded in 
about the worst fix you ever got in, and there's no 
way out except the one I propose. Don't be ridiculous, 
but look at the thing sensibly. Besides, I'd enjoy it 
immensely. Please ! 

Victor — Really, there is something in what Miss 
Seelye says, and you might accept her offer just to 
tide you over. 

Cara (Weakly) — But — she is our guest. 

Jean — And I am also your friend. "A friend in 
need is a friend indeed." This is my first chance to 
prove my friendship. Don't take it away from me. 

Philip — All right, Cara; let her do it. And (turn- 
ing to Jean), we'll be everlastingly obliged to you. 

Jean — Come on, Cara. I'll have to dress for my 
part, and get a few instructions from you, so there 
won't be any bad breaks after Auntie gets here. 
(Exeunt Cara and Jean left.) 

Philip (Looking after them) — Well, that's a 
mighty fine thing for that girl to do. Do you know 
it, Victor? 

Victor — Rather. Most of the things she does are 
fine, aren't they? 

Philip — So that's the way the wind blows, is it? 
Well, well! 

J. F. & B. 3736 vii 



Victor — Oh, I'm speaking only for myself. You 
see, I think she's quite smitten with Bob. 

Philip — Bob? My brother? (Laughs.) Well, yt>u 
know Bob is quite in love with — (bell rings violently). 
Great Pete! You don't suppose that's the old lady, 
do you? Excuse me, please. (Exit center) 

Victor — So Bob is quite in love with her, is he? 
I've suspected as much for some time. Now I must 
get a chance at her tomorrow, for I want to find out 
just how things stand. Hang it! I've promised Bob 
to go to the game with him to-morrow. Oh, well, 
I'll get out of it somehow. (Enter from center Philip 
and Bob, latter in overcoat and carrying his hat and 
cane.) Hello, Bob! It's only you, is it? 

Bob — Well, upon my word! What a nice flatter- 
ing soul you are ! Yes, it's only me. Pray, whom 
were you expecting? 

Victor — Aunt Minerva. 

Bob — Great guns! You don't mean that Aunt 
Minerva is coming here, do you? 

Philip — Just so, my boy. Keep cool. 

Bob — I'll bet you wouldn't keep cool if you'd had 
the encounters with the old villain that I have had. 
Excuse my haste, but I have a pressing engagement 
elsewhere. (Starts to run toward center exit.) 

Philip — Oh, wait a minute. She isn't due quite yet, 
and if she does come, you can go out by the fire- 
escape. You wait here with Victor, while I go to 
speak to Cara about something. (Exit Philip left.) 

Bob (Lighting a cigarette after offering one to Vic- 
tor, who declines) — You'll wish you'd taken one to 
calm your nerves when Aunt Minerva Davis looms 
on the scene. Ever seen her? 

Victor — No, and I don't know as I want to, judg- 
ing from the row she seems to be making over her 
arrival. 

Bob — Humph ! That's nothing to what she'll do 
after her arrival ! Take my advice, young man, and 
come down the fire-escape with me. 

Victor — Yes ; but what if we fall and break our 
necks? 



J. F. & B 3736 



Bob — That's easy, compared to Aunt Minerva. 
However, do as you please. I've warned you. 

Victor — Say, Bob, that reminds me. I can't go 
to the game with you to-morrow afternoon. I'm 
awfully sorry, but I have an appointment at the den- 
tist's. 

Bob — That's all right, Victor. I was just going to 
crawl out of that myself. I have a meeting to attend 
at that time. 

Victor — Well, it's all O. K. then. 
Philip {Calls off stage) — Victor! I say, Victor! 
Victor — Right-o. (Exit Victor left.) 
Bob — Now, that's settled. Then to-morrow I can 
tell Cara and Jean all about Violet, and pave the way 
to bringing her here to see them. (Enter from left 
Cara and Jean in conventional maid's dress.) Hello, 
Cara! Well, for heaven's sake, what have we here? 

Cara — My new maid — Jean. Nice, neat appear- 
ing girl, don't you think so? 

Bob — Cara! Jean! What's all this about, anyhow? 
Are you crazy, or am I? 

Jean — Judging by the difference in our actions at 
present, I should say you were. 

Bob — Wow! Let up, Jean. I'll be good, only 
kindly explain. 

Cara — I would have explained long ago if you 
hadn't talked so much. Delia's left. 
Bob — Oh, don't say that ! 
Cara — Yes; isn't it a shame? 

Bob — It is. You don't know how I regret the loss 
of all those good pies she made. 

Cara — You hateful pig ! I really thought you sym- 
pathized with me. Men are all alike. 
(Re-enter Philip and Victor.) 

Philip — What's that about men, my love? I'll bet 
you were calling me names again. Oh, Jerusalem ! 
Just look who's here. 

Victor — My name is Victor, not Jerusalem ; and 
I've been looking ever since we came in. 

Jean (Making; a bow) — Can I do anything for 
you, gentlemen? 

J. F. &B.3736 ix 



Victor — Well — er — not just now, but later on, per- 
haps. (Bell rings violently.) 

Bob — Golly! Farewell, everybody. (Dashes out 
left.) 

Car a — I'm afraid the play begins, Jean. How is 
your nerve? 

Jean — Fine! Here goes. {Exit center.) 

(Philip, Cara, and Victor assume strained attitudes 
of expectancy.) ^ v . : • 

(Re-enter Jean center door, and announces — ) 

Jean — Miss Minerva Davis. 

(Steps aside and Aunt Minerva enters. She is tall, 
thin, and very angular. Her clothes are outlandish, 
and seem to belong to no particular period of fashion. 
She wears spectacles and carries a queer-looking um- 
brella and hand-bag.) 

Aunt M. (Grimly.) — Well, young people, I've 
come! 

Curtain . 

Act II. 

Scene — Same as Act I., without tlie card-table at left- 

Time — Afternoon of tlie next day. 

Curtain rises, disclosing Jean in maid's attire, mov- 
ing slowly about the room, aimlessly flicking dust from 
the book-cases. Occasionally she stops to glance 
through a book or to look at a picture. Aunt Minerva 
appears in center door and looks at Jean, who does 
not see her. Finally she steps into the room and 
speaks. 

Aunt M. — For the land's sake, young woman ! Are 
you taking a course in art or literature at my nephew's 
expense, or are you trying to dust this room? (Looks 
stispicioiLsly at top of book-case^) Ugh! Just as I 
thought. You haven't dusted even here decently, and 
you've stood in this spot long enough to clean the 
whole room. Let me show you how to do it. (Takes 
the duster from Jean and proceeds to clean ener- 
getically, moving tozvard left until she reaches pipe- 
rack.) What's this? 

J.F. &B.3736 X 



Jean — A pipe-rack, Madam. 

Aunt M. — Miss, young- lady; not Madam! Don't 
you try any of your foreign tricks on me. I'm not 
ashamed of being a spinster, so you needn't "Madam" me. 

Jean — Very well, Miss. 

Aunt M. — That's better. Now, do you mean to 
tell me that this pipe-rack belongs to my nephew? 

Jean — Yes, Miss. 

Aunt M. — Well, I'll soon fix it so that he won't 
smoke while I'm here. Smoking is an invention of 
the Devil ; did you know it ? 

Jean — No, Miss — yes, Miss. 
Aunt M. — Very well ; then help me down with this 
thing. (Jeans stands on ahair and unhooks pipe-rack, 
which she hands to Aunt Minerva, and then gets 
down.) Now you get those matches and other smok- 
ing things off the table and put them under the couch 
with this. (Jean obeys, and during this speech they 
slide the pipe-rack and smoking conveniences under 
the couch.) Now, I'll show you how to dust this 
table. (Dusts table while Jean looks on. Bob appears 
in center door, and, seeing what is taking place, grins 
and then ducks out of sight.) There; that will do, I 
think. Now I'm going out later on to buy a hat, and 
when it comes I want you to leave it in this room until 
I get back. Understand? In this room! 

Jean — Yes, Miss. 

(Aunt Minerva sails out majestically left exit. 
Jean sits in chair and begins to laugh. Enter Bob 
cautiously from center. Seeing Jean alone, he laughs, 
too.) 

Bob — Smoking is an invention of the Devil; did 
you know it?" (Pulls out a cigarette case and UgJits 
one, saying to Jean) : May I, please? 

Jean — Oh, did you hear it all? How did you get 
in, and where were you? 

Bob — (Holding up his hand) — Tut, tut, young lady. 
If you are taking courses in art and literature at my 
brother's expense, you ought to know by this time that 
one question at a time is all that is considered good 

J. F. & B. 3736 xi 



form this year. In regard to your first, then — did I 
hear it? (Mimics Jean's voice) "Yes, Madam," "Yes, 
Miss," I did. As to how did I get in. Cara saw me 
coming and opened the door before I had a chance to 
ring. I'd just finished breaking some news to her, and 
was looking for you to tell you the same news, when I 
encountered the dragon putting you through your 
paces. That answers where I was also, doesn't is? 
Just outside the door. 

Jean — Well, wasn't it lovely? 

Bob — You bet it was. I nearly gave the whole show 
away three or four times by laughing. But alas ! poor 
Philip! (Looks at spot where pipe-rack hung.) I 
tremble to think of the naughty, naughty words he 
may use when he discovers his loss. (Jean and Bob 
both laugh again.) 

Jean — Truly though, Bob, I could almost find it in 
my heart to like Aunt Minerva ; she's not a bad sort 
at all. 

Bob — Listen to the misguided infant. Just wait until 
she steps on your toes, and that feeling won't be so 
strong. I speak from sad experience. 

Jean — Well, perhaps not ; but, Bob, you said you 
had something to tell me. What is it? 

Bob — You remember Violet Brace, don't you? 

Jean — I should say I do! She was in my class in 
college, and a perfect wonder at our dramatics. Every 
one knew and liked her. 

Fob — Yes, she spoke of having been in college with 
you. Did you know that she went on the stage ? 

Jean — No — really? Well, I'm sure she'll make a 
splendid success of it. She was a mighty fine, earnest 
girl. 

Bob — You voice my sentiments exactly. She has 
made a great success, and is playing here now under 
the name of Violet de Bracy. 

Jean — How lovely ! I can go to see her. I'd love 
to see her again. 

Bob — That won't be necessary, for she's coming 
here with me to meet Cara and you. The fact is, Jean, 
we're engaged ! 

J. F. & B. 3736 xii 



Jean — {Springing to her feet and shaking hands 
with him.) Bobbie, how splendid ! Congratulations. 

Bob — Thanks. The only trouble is that Cara is 
afraid to have me bring Violet here while the amiable 
auntie is on the field of action. You see, the stage as 
well as smoking is an invention of the Devil. Did you 
know that? (Mimics Aunt Minerva's tone) 

Jean — Oh, what a shame! However, she may not 
stay long, and in the meantime we can go to see Violet. 
Bob — Yes, that's so. {Bell rings loudly.) 
Jean — Excuse me a moment. You see, Sir, I have 
to wait on the door. {Exit center laughing.) 

{Bob smokes in silence. Enter center Jean and Vic- 
tor, he with \his overcoat still on and carrying his hat.) 
Victor — Hello, Bob! You here? I thought you 
had a meeting to attend this afternoon. 

Bob — {Turning- in surprise.) — So I had. I've 
been to it and gotten back. But how about you and 
your appointment with the — dentist, wasn't it? 

Victor — {Confused) — Oh — er — yes. I'm going to 
him later on. 

Bob — {Rising and walking toward left exit) — Well, 
don't forget it. A neglected tooth, like a neglected 
woman, is mighty painful to deal with. {Exit left.) 
Jean — Won't you take off your coat? 
Victor — Thanks. I'd like to awfully, but I really 
can stay only a moment. 

Jean — Well, then, do sit down anyhow. 
{Victor seats himself at right on couch, and Jean 
sits near him in an arm-chair.) 

Victor — {Leaning forward eagerly) — I say, Miss 
Seelye, will you go motoring with me to-morrow after- 
noon? I have something to say to you that can't wait. 
I — er — meant to say it now, but since I've told Bob 
that I had this dentist appointment, I suppose I'll have 
to go. 

Jean — You told Bob? Well, haven't you any ap- 
pointment? 

Victor — No — you see, I did have one with Bob, but 
I wanted to see you in a hurry, so I broke it with 

J.F. & B. 3736 Xl'ii 



him by telling him I had to go to the dentist's. Now, 
how was I to know he'd turn up here, too? He said 
he had a meeting to attend ! 

Jean — I see; but I don't approve of your methods 
to get interviews with me, Mr. Merrill. 

Victor — Well, I know; but won't you please go 
with me to-morrow? It's — it's awfully important. 

Jean — I'll tell you what I'll do. You don't deserve 
to be answered now, but I'll write you a note if I de- 
cide to go, and leave it on the corner of this table 
(points to corner} late this afternoon. Then {smil- 
ing) after you get back from the dentist's, you may 
look on the table, and if there is nothing there, I've 
refused your invitation; but if there's a note there, it 
will be an acceptance. 

Victor — Yes, but won't people think it looks odd 
to see a note addressed to me on the table? Any one 
might come in and see it, and naturally think it queer. 

Jean — That's so; but, you see, I can't be sure that 
my — ahem — duties as housemaid will leave me free 
late this afternoon, and unless I send a message, a 
note is the only way out. 

Victor — Oh, well, let it be a note, and we'll take our 
chances on being discovered. 

Jean — Wait — I have it! In your youth, did you 
ever write with milk? 

Victor — Write with milk? No; my form of in- 
sanity doesn't show itself until maturity is reached. 

Jean — No, I really have a serious plan in mind. 
When you use milk to write with on white paper, of 
course it doesn't show. 

Victor — Yes, even my feeble intellect can grasp 
that truth. What next? 

Jean — Next, you hold the paper near the heat of a 
fire, and the milk scorches, so that the writing will 
show. Do you begin to see? 

Victor — (Jumping up) — See? You're a regular 
genius ! While it might look strange to see a note ad- 
dressed to me on the table, surely no one could suspect 
an innocent little piece of white paper of carrying con- 

J. F. & B. 3736 Xiv 



cealed weapons. Hooray! I'll toast your message, 
never fear! 

Jean — (Cooly)— Hadn't you better wait till you 
get it ? 

Victor — (Calming doztm) — That's right. Try to 
cheer me up a bit. Well, now, I must be going, or 
Bob will insist on escorting me to the dentist, and that 
might really prove embarrassing. (He moves toward 
center door, with his back to the left entrance. Jean 
faces him.) 

Jean — You're sure you can't stay longer? 
Victor — Sorry, but I ought not to. You know 
Bob! 

Jean-— Just a little while longer to see the rest of 
the family? {Aunt Minerva, dressed for the street, en- 
ters from the left and hears Jean's last remark and 
the next of Victor's.) 

Victor — (Shaking his finger at her) — Don't start 
teasing! "Get thee behind me, Satan." (Makes a 
low bow and gesture, and turning, comes face to face 
with Aunt Minerva, who was directly behind him when 
he made his last remark.) 

Oh, I beg your pardon, Miss Davis. I didn't know 
that you were here! (Mirth and consternation strug- 
gle for expression in his face.) 

Aunt M. — (Crushingly) — That was quite evident, 
young man. 

Victor — I'm really very sorry! I was just going. 
Good afternoon. (Exit center.) 

Aunt M. — (To Jean) — Yon, Miss, stay just where 
you are. (Goes to left door and calls) Cara! 

(Enter Cara from left.) 

Cara — Yes, Aunt Minerva. 

Aunt M. — (With righteous indignation) — This 
young hussy was flirting in a most outrageous man- 
ner with that Merrill man who was here last night, 
when I entered the room and surprised them, just a 
few moments 'ago. What have you to say for your- 
self? (Turning on Jean.) 

Cara — Oh, Aunt Minerva, you jeally oughtn't to 

J. F. &B.3736 XV 



speak to her like that. You see, she isn't quite an 
ordinary maid. 

Aunt M. — An ordinary maid? Good gracious! I 
should hope not. Ordinary maids don't loaf around 
when they're supposed to be earning- their wages, and 
attempt to entertain their employer's guests. Most 
extra-ordinary, I call it! (Exit wrathfully enter, Cara 
and Jean sink weakly into chairs?) 

Cara — That dreadful old busy-body ! My dear, 
I'm so sorry to have had this happen. Everything has 
gone wrong since she's come, and now we don't even 
dare let 'poor Bob bring the girl he's engaged to here 
as long as Aunt Minerva stays, for fear of conse- 
quences. It's horrid to have rich relatives who are 
also hateful and to have to try to be nice to them. I'm 
getting to the stage where I don't care a rap for her 
old money. I wish she'd leave it for a cat orphan 
asylum. 

Jean — Never mind, Cara, I don't care now a bit. It 
was just rather sudden, that was all. 

Cara — Sudden? I should say so. You poor thing; 
can't I get something for you? After a scene like that 
you really must need something. 

Jean — No, thank you. (As Cara rises to go out 
left.) Oh, yes; I think I would like some milk, if you 
please. 

Cara — Certainly. I'll bring it to you right away. 
(Exit left.) 

Jean — Well, that was easy; and here is a pen (picks 
up one from table), and (rummaging through papers) 
I know I saw a piece of paper when I was having my 
dusting lesson this morning. Ah! here it is. 

(Re-enter Cara left, with a glass of milk.) 

Cara — Here you are, dear. Now just drink this 
and then rest a while. You must be awfully tired ; 
you've had such a strenuous day. We never should 
have been able to get on without you. (Bell rings. 
Exit Jean center. Re-enter zinth hat-box, which she 
puts down near armchair by fireplace.) 

Jean — There ; that must be Auntie's hat that I had 
instructions about. 

J. F. & B. 3736 XVi 



Cara — But why leave it here? Let me take it to 
her room. 

Jean — Not if you value my life. I was to "leave it 
in this room, young woman. Understand, this room!" 
(Mimics Aunt Minerva's voice, and then continues go- 
ing back to table.) May I_use some of your things 
here to write a .letter presently ? 

Cara — Certainly, and now I'll leave you to get a 
little rest. {Exit left.) 

Jean — (Pulls paper toward her, dips pen in milk 
and writes, reading as she does so.) "Yes, I'll come." 
That's enough. In fact, the paper itself shows ' my 
acceptance. There (puts it on corner of table), now 
I'll make off to my room with this. (Exit left with 
glass of milk.) 

Philip — (Enter from center Philip. Takes *)ipe 
out of his "pocket and goes to table for matches.) 
Hello! wonder where the matches are. Why, all my 
smoking things are gone! (Looks over at zvall) And 
my pipe-rack ! Now, who the Devil moved those 
things? Certainly not Cara, for I've just got her 
broken in to the stage where she lets my things alone. 
And not a match in sight ! Suppose I'll have to go to 
the kitchen and beg. This is a nice state of affairs. 
(Catches sight of paper.) Aha! (Looks it over) all 
right. No writing on that. Just what I want! (He 
twists the paper into a taper, sticks it into the fire, 
lights his pipe with it, and then throws it back into 
fire.) It's a wonder they didn't put the fire out, too; 
that smokes! (Goes to "door and calls) Cara! (Paces 
back and forth furiously, puffing at pipe. Enter Cara 
from left.) 

Cara — Yes, dear? 

Philip — "Yes, dear"! Well, "dear" wants to know 
something about this, and this! (Points to zvall and 
table.) Somebody's been getting too fresh. 

Cara — But Philip — Aunt Minerva will be so angry 
if you put them back. 

Philip — Aunt Minerva? What has she to do with 
it? 

J. F. &B.3736 xvii 



Cara — She took them down, or rather she made 
Jean do it, and put them under the couch. 

Philip (On his knees in front of the conch, drag- 
ging out his possessions.) Oh, she did, did she? Well, 
I'll show her that I'm still boss in my own house ! 
(Puts things back on table.) 

Cara— (Weakly)— But her will! 

Philip — Bother her will ! It's another kind of will 
I'm interested in at present, and I'll show her whose 
is stronger — her's or mine! (Climbs up on chair to 
hang up pipe-rack.) There, that's something- like. 
(Aunt Minerva appears at center door and zvatches 
proceedings. Philip gets down from chair and steps 
in hat-box.) 

Cara (JVailing) — Oh, Philip, Aunt Minerva's hat! 

Philip — Confound Aunt Minerva ! 

Aunt M. (Stepping forward) — What's that young 
man? 

Curtain. 

Act III 

Scene — Same as Act II. 

Time — Morning of the next day. 

Curtain rises on empty room. (Enter from the left 
Victor. Goes hastily over to table and looks about 
everyzvhere.) 

Victor — No, it hasn't been mislaid. I thought yes- 
terday afternoon when I came and didn't find it that 
it might have been slipped under something. (Looks 
under the table and even moves a chair or so in his 
frantic search.) Evidently she's refused my invitation, 
and she knew what it meant, too. What the dickens 
did she want to explain so carefully about that milk- 
writing trick, though? Well, I'll just show her that I 
don't care what she did about it. Two can play at 
her little game. It's her turn to guess. (Savagely sits 
down near table, picks up paper and begins to read.) 

(Enter from center Jean as maid. He pretends not 
to see her.) 

Jean — Good morning. 

J. f. & b. 3736 xviii 



Victor (Shortly) — Oh, good morning, Miss Seelye. 
Lovely day, isn't it? 

Jean (Aside) — How queerly he acts! (To Victor) 
Yes, a fine day for motoring. Did — did you get my 
message ? 

Victor (^Aside) — Well, that is rubbing it in! Here 
goes. (To her) — Oh, yes. I got it all right. Ha, ha! 

Jean (Nervously) — Ha, ha — I'll call Philip and 
Cara. They wanted to see you about something. (Exit 
left.) (Bell rings.) 

Victor (Rises and throws down paper) — The deuce 
take the girl ! What have I ever done to her to make 
her act like that? (Enter Bob center with his over- 
coat on and carrying hat and cane.) 

Bob — Hello, old man. Do you know what the date 
is? 

Victor — Why, it's the first of April, isn't it? 

Bob — Right you are ! April fool's day, and I'm go- 
ing to announce my engagement! Isn't that the best 
kind of a joke? 

Victor (Dazed) — So that's it, is it? Engaged to 
Bob, eh? I'm the April fool, it seems. 

Bob — Stop mumbling to yourself and congratulate 
me! Don't you think it's nice? 

Victor (Shaking hands with Bob) — Of course, I 
do, old fellow. She's a fine girl. 

Bob (Amazed) — But I didn't know that you knew 
(Enter from left Philip, Cara and Jean.) 

Philip — Hello, you two! You're just the ones we 
need to complete this important meeting. Come, gather 
round me, children. (All group themselves about cen- 
ter-table.) I've been thinking 

Bob (Interrupting) — Congratulations ! 

Philip — As I was about to say when I was so rude- 
ly interrupted, I've been thinking things over — things 
that concern us all — and I'm going to tell you the re- 
sult of my cogitations. 

Bob (Takes off his coat and lays it down, with his 
hat and cane.) — Sounds as if we were in for it, doesn't 
it? 

4. F. & B. 3736 xix 



Cara — I move we sit down, anyhow. (All seat them- 
selves but Philip, who remains standing back of table 
and facing audience.) 

"Philip — You know that Cara and I, two days ago, 
were suddenly plunged into a most embarrassing pre- 
dicament, and that we called on you all for aid. 

Jean (Looking at her costume) — Yes, but why this 
elaborate prelude? 

Philip — Because we have changed our ideas in 
these last two days, and a new plan of campaign is 
suggested. 

Victor — Aha ! the plot curdles ! Hasten to the 
thrills ! 

Philip — Well, if you'll all keep still long enough to 
let me talk I may be able to explain. 

Bob — Oh, hurry up ! You're the only one who's had 
any show at talking at all. What are you kicking 
about ? 

Philip — My little man, will you keep still until 
brother finishes, or must he shut you up in a closet ? 

Cara — Oh, please hurry, Phil ! 

Philip — All I want to say is this: (Aunt Minerva 
appears in center doorway unobserved by the group 
within, who are intent on Philip's remarks. She 
listens until the end of the scene, smiling grimly from 
time to time, then disappears.) As you know, Aunt 
Minerva is rich, and we are as near relatives as any 
she has — in fact, a bit closer than the rest. When 
she came here, Cara and I made up our mind to be 
nice to her, to do nothing to offend her in any way. 
Well, I won't pretend that in this decision we had no 
ulterior motives. However, that is over. (Aunt Mi- 
nerva pricks tip her ears, and Jean and Victor show 
surprise.) When we made these plans and called on 
you to help us, we didn't realize how digustingly hu- 
miliating and unworthy it would be to truckle to that 
impossibly exacting old woman. (Aunt Minerva nods 
her head.) As I said, that is over! (Bangs his fist 
down on table.) We don't care where her money 
goes, and beyond the ordinary civilities that one is 

J. F. & B. 3736 XX 



bound to extend to an older woman, we will not give 
in to her whims further. Ladies and gentlemen, I 
give you (raising his hand as if he were drinking a 
toast) the "Anti-Aunt Society" formed to-day by us! 
All (Rising)— "The Anti- Aunts" ! 
Philip — As President pro-tem of this society, I 
move we give a special vote of thanks to Jean Seelye — 
a brick, — who gallantly came to our rescue when the 
ship of domestic tranquillity was sinking. 

All — Hurrah for Jean! (Aunt Minerva's expres- 
sion is a study here, as she realizes the meaning of 
these remarks and sees Jean's bow of thanks.) 

Jean— Oh, thanks, good people. I really enjoy it 
immensely. Besides, I know how to dust a room now. 
(Laughs I) 

Bob — You bet she does. I saw her get a lesson! 
Ha, ha! "Smoking is an institution of the Devil." 
(To Philip) "Did you know it?" 

(Aunt Minerva frowns in his direction.) 
Philip — In view of our — our newly — (pauses! 
Victor — Emancipated? 

Philip — Thanks. In view of our newly emanci- 
pated condition, then, Bob and I have evolved a plan. 
Bob— This is the interesting part— where I come 
in. But I like the nerve of the man, — "Bob and I 
have evolved a plan!" Huh, truthfully speaking, 
Bobbie did the work! 

Philip (Crossly) — Oh, for heavens' sake, you hu- 
man phonograph, go on and do the talking yourself. 

Bob— Wait a minute — I've thought of a riddle. If 
I'm a human phonograph, is Merrill (pointing to Vic- 
tor) a human Victor? Ha, ha! 

(All looked bored to death, including Aunt Mi- 
nerva.) 

Cara (Tactfully)— -Go on, Bobbie, please. Don t 
you want to tell them about Violet? 

Bob Sure I do. Well, granting all that our es- 
teemed President says to be true, we will proceed to 
the solution. In other words, arrange a speedy exit 
for Aunt Minerva from our midst ! I have the great 

J.F.&B.3736 xxi 



pleasure of numbering among my friends a very at- 
tractive young lady who goes by the name of Violet 
de Bracy, and is an avowed follower of Thespian pur- 
suits. 

Victor — Will you kindly talk English, or shall we 
get an interpreter? 

Bob (Withering!}') — I suppose you'll understand it 
if I say she's an awfully jolly girl who's on the stage. 

Victor — Actress, hey ? 

Bob (Sarcastically) — How quickly you grasp the 
situation. I'm sure I never saw such brilliancy of per- 
ception. (D?icks as Victor moves tozvard him.) At 
any rate, Aunt Minerva has a most terrific horror of 
the stage and all its attributes. Consequently, I have 
prevailed upon this young lady to loom on the scene 
of action — pose as my fiancee, and, presto — exit Aunt 
Minerva ! 

(Aunt Minerva takes in all this last speech, then 
with a grim smile vanishes.) 

Jean — I begin to see. Oh, Bob, you're a wonder ! 

Victor (Aside) — That's "love's young dream," I 
suppose. (Walks moodily over to -fireplace.) 

Philip (Taking 1 otit his watch anxiously}} — It's 
past the time when she was to have arrived, but no 
sign of her yet. You don't suppose she's backed out, 
do you? 

Bob — Say, my boy, if you'd waited for her as many 
times as I have, you'd keep cool now. Besides, she 
had to rig up for the part this morning. 

Cara — Rig up for the part ? 

Bob — Sure ! Don't you suppose she knows what to 
do? She's going to look like the stage this A. M., so 
Aunt Minerva won't be disappointed. However, if 
you're anxious, I'll telephone. (Goes over to 'phone.) 
1804 Morning, Central. (Pause) Hello, is Miss 
Brace in? What's that? About twenty minutes ago? 
Thank you. Good-bye. (Turns to others) That was 
her maid, and she says that Violet started about 
twenty minutes ago. She's due now. (Bell rings.) 
Hello, there she is ! I'll go. 

J. F. & B. 3736 xxii 



Jean — No, I'll go. I'm the maid. (Starts toward 
door.) 

Philip (Laughing) — Oh, have some heart, Jean. 
Let Bob go. (Exit Bob center.) 

{Enter Aunt Minerva left.) 

Aunt M. — Good-morning, young people! In my 
youth, we didn't stand around doing nothing at this 
hour of the morning. I don't know what things arc 
coming to, I'm sure. (Walks over to Jean, who is 
standing in back, near bookcase.) Well, young woman, 
whatever are you idling around for again? Another 
evidence that you are not quite an ordinary maid. I 
suppose ! 

Philip — Aunt Minerva, I must insist on 



Aunt M. (Turning on him suddenly) — Highty- 
tighty ! Insist, young man? Don't you take that tone 
to me! 

Philip (Raising his voice) — I said I must insist 

(Enter from center Bob and Violet. She is very 
good-looking, but a trifle made up, and very elaborately 
and strikingly dressed in plumed hat, furs and a long 
coat, which completely covers her up. She carries a 
small toy dog.) 

Cara (Coming forward to greet them) — And this 
is Violet, I suppose? Welcome to our house, my new 
sister! 

Aunt M. — New sister? New sister? What's this? 

Bob (Stepping forward, takes Violet by the hand 
and leads her up to .hint Minerva) — ''This," as you 
flatteringly call her, is my future wife — Miss Violet 
de Bracy. Violet, my Aunt — Miss Davis. (Violet 
bozvs in affected way.) 

Aunt M. — Cara! Philip! What is the meaning of 
this disgraceful performance ? Do yqu mean to say 

Philip (Not paying the slightest attention to her) — 
We're very glad to meet Bob's fiancee, Violet, and we 
hope his family will prove satisfactory to you. 

Vtolet — Thank you, Philip — I suppose I'm to call 
you that now ? 

p TTILIP — You bet. (Motioning to Victor) May I 

J.F. & B. 3736 xxiii 



present Mr. Merrill, Miss de Bracy? (Violet bows 
again. ) 

Victor — Delighted, I'm sure. 

Aunt M. (Striving to be heard) — You don't mean 
to accept this creature as one of the family, do you? 

Bob (Turning to her savagely) — See here, Aunt 
Minerva, I've stood a lot from you in the course of my 
existence, but that's the time you went too far. I'm 
engaged to this lady, and you are to treat her with 
respect. Do you understand ? 

Victor (Aside) — Jove! he couldn't have done it 
better if he really had been engaged to her. Bob 
ought to go on the stage himself. 

Violet (Laying her hand on Bob's arm) — Bob, 
really you mustn't talk to her like that. I don't mind 
in the least what that person says about me ! 

Aunt M. — Person, hey? * That's the last straw! 
Philip and Cara, do you intend to stand by and listen 
while I'm called names in your house? 

Philip — I understood that you were doing the call- 
ing of names first, Aunt Minerva. 

Aunt M. — So that is your answer, is it? I'll give 
you just one more chance. Choose between that 
woman and myself. Either she goes or I do. Choose ! 

Cara (Firmly) — But Aunt Minerva, we can't be 
anything but cordial to Bob's future wife, you know. 
Besides (zvalking over to Bob and Violet and taking 
a hand of each), we don't want to, do we, Philip? 

Philip — Certainly not! 

Aunt M. — That settles it. I shall leave at once— 
at once, do you understand? (No one protests, so she 
goes out at center. Every one relaxes.) 

Violet — Thank goodness that's over. That's the 
most strenuous part I ever played. Jean Seelye, you 
don't know how glad I am to see you again (as Jean 
comes up to speak to her). I was crazy to speak to 
you when I came in, but Bob had warned me that you 
were in the play, too. Bobbie, will you please take 
this miserable little yappy, snappy apology for a dog 
and shut it up somewhere? I had to borrow it, for I 

J.F.&B.3736 xxiv 



thought it would add greatly to the effect. (Bob gin- 
gerly takes the dog and exits center :) Jean, will you 
help me remove the rest of this make-up so that the 
family can tell what I really look like? I'm sure, 
Cara and Philip, you stood the shock of my present 
appearance very well. 

Cara — Oh, we were warned. Jean, take Violet to 
my room, will you? (Exeunt Jean and Violet left.) 

(Enter Aunt M., center, dressed for street and 
carrying handbag and umbrella. Also the hat-box, 
badly battered.) 

Aunt M. — Well, young people, I'm going, and I 
warn you that this isn't the last you will hear of this 
episode. (Philip and Cara bow, and Aunt Minerva 
exit center.) 

Philip— Hum! That probably means that we'll get 
cut out uf her will ; but I don't care, do you ? 

Cara — Not a bit. 

Philip — I knew you wouldn't; you're the stuff! 
(Puts his arm around her, forgetting Victor, who after 
Jean and Violet left, has been sitting over b\ fire- 
place.) 

Victor — Ahem! I trust I'm not in the way? 

Philip — Not at all. That's a good object lesson 
for you. According to your story yesterday and the 
day before, you'll be needing a little information on 
such subjects before long. 

Victor — That was only a mistake of mine, and it's 
all off now. You see, I told you what I thought about 
her feelings for Bob and his for her, and to-day he 
told me he was going to announce his engagement ; so 
it's all over. 

Cara — But, Victor, he did announce his engage- 
ment. What has that to do with Jean ? 

Victor — He isnt really engaged to that girl, is he? 
Why, I thought that was all for Aunt Minerva's bene- 
fit ! 

(Enter from left Jean, still in maid's attire, and Vio- 
let, every trace of make-up removed, in a very demure 
little morning dress. Her hat has been removed and 

J.F. &B.3736 XXV 



shows her hair very simply arranged. At the same 
time Bob enters from the center and goes to meet Vio- 
let.) 

Bob — Well, family and friends, what do you think 
of her? Hasn't she earned her admission to the hon- 
ored Society of "Anti- Aunts" ? I tell you, she did the 
business ! 

Philip — She did, and we're mighty thankful to her. 
Why, do you know, yesterday the tyranny got to such 
a state that all my smoking things were taken from 
me? Fortunately, I had my pet pipe in my pocket, 
but I even had to resort to lighting it with a scrap of 
paper that happened to be on the table, just inviting me 
to use it as a taper. (All laugh.) 

Jean and Victor (Suddenly getting an idea at the 
same time) — A scrap of paper? Where? 

Philip (Pointing to corner of table) — Here; but 
you needn't get so excited about it. It didn't have any 
writing on it. 

Victor — Then, no wonder I didn't get my note ! 

Jean — But you said you did ! 

Victor — Well, I thought you were merely trying to 
be funny at my expense; the fact is, it's the first of 
April to-day. 

Jean — I thought you acted queerly ; but, you see, I 
did write it. 

Victor — Yes, thank goodness ! 

Cara — What are you two talking about ? 

Philip — That's what I want to know ! 

Jean (Confused, to Victor) — You explain, won't 
you? (Bell rings.) Oh, I'll answer that; I have the 
habit. (Exit center.) 

Philip — Now, Victor, what's up? Why these radi- 
ant looks, blushes, etc., over a scrap of paper? 

Victor — The fact is, that paper was the signal of 
our engagement. 

Cara — Your engagement? Then you and Jean are 
engaged ? 

(Re-enter Jean, center, hands note to Philip.) 

Victor — They want to know if we're engaged, Jean. 

J. F. & B. 3736 *xvl 



Shall I tell them "Yes"? 

Jean — Why, I suppose so. 

Philip — Well, we'll clear out in a few minutes; but, 
first, just listen to this {Reads from note) ; 

"April the first. 
'To the Anti-Aunts": 



All — "Anti-Aunts"? Why, who 

Philip — Listen! (Reads) : "Don't you think our 
last scene was quite a success, and how did you like 
the exit 'from your midst' of Aunt Minerva? You 
see, I happened to overhear the whole plan beforehand, 
so I couldn't depart from the character that you ex- 
pected me to take. If you had seen as much false po- 
liteness as I have, on account of benefits to be gained. 
you would realize how thoroughly I enjoyed and re- 
spected your revolt. Kindly convey my best regards to 
the Misses Seelye and Brace, and tell them I do not 
know which is the better actress. As I told you when 
T left, this is not the last you will hear of the episode, 
as I am sending this by special messenger from my 
solicitors, where I have been changing my will in 
favor of my nephews, Philip and Bob. 

"Minerva Davis. 

"P. S. — I hope some day to become a member of 
the 'Anti-Aunts.' " 

J EAN — Didn't I tell you she was all right. Hurrah 
for the Anti-Aunts and Aunt Minerva! 
Curtain. 



J.F.& B. 37.% 



Zbciv Xorbsbips" 

BY 

EDITH M. BURROWS 



Cast of Characters 

Mrs. Augustus Smythe-Brown, 

A lady with social aspirations 
Mr. Augustus Smythe-Brown, 

Her unaspiring husband, zvho is also very deaf 
Betty Smythe-Brown, 

Dorothy Smythe-Brown, ! Their children; all young 
Will Smythe-Brown, college graduates. 

James Smythe-Brown, 

Ned Hill Harvard friend of the boys 

Mrs. Montgomery Social dictator 

Olivia Montgomery, 

Her daughter, with dramatic leanings 
Lord Ransome, 

Young Englishman ; friend of the S my the -Br owns 
Maid and Butler. 



COPYRIGHT, 1913. BY J. FISCHER & BRO. 
BRITISH COPYRIGHT SECURED 



" DEAR CYRIL" 

By 

Edith M. Burrows 



Cast of Characters 

Mrs. Bates. . . .A widow who keeps a boarding house 

Maggie Her Irish maid of ail work 

Teddy Bates — 

The "Imp of Satan," aged 11, who stutters 
David Graham — 

Young would-be-author at the Bates house 
Alice White — 

A. budding authoress at the Bates house 
The Postman — 

Of great importance to David and Alice 
James Scott — 

Representing the Columbia Publishing Co. 
Harvey Loftus — 

Representing the Manhattan Publishing Co. 
A Detective Who complicates matters 

Scene. 
The living room of a country boarding house. 

Time. 
The present. 

Copyright, 1913, by J. Fischer & Bro. 
British copyright secured 



OPERETTAS AND CANTATAS FOR JUVENILES 

Price 
Brownies' Whispers, The. A Floral Cantata. Written by Clara J. 

Denton. Music by W. Rhys-Herbert »..net .75 

As its name indicates, the story is interwoven with messages from the Brownies 
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the occasion. The different classes or groups, are dressed to portray the char- 
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viduality in their costumes, but their drill and other work is interesting enough 
to compensate for any disappointment which might arise on that score. The 
entire work is heartily commended to teachers who are looking for something out 
of the ordinary for public presentation. 

Dame Nature's Tea Party. Operetta in one act. Written by Maude 

Elizabeth Inch. Music by V. Hammerel..... net .60 

This tea party of the Seasons is presented in a very quaint and interesting manner. 
Dame Nature is a very old and peculiar lady, who has invited Spring, Summer, 
Autumn and Winter, to have tea with her. Her waiting maid, Flora, is a comedy 
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appearance, when suitably garbed. This may be arranged after an inexpensive 
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Fairies of the Seasons, The. A very easy cantata. H. A. Donald.net .60 

An exquisite spectacular production suitable for" children of various ages. It is 
an imaginative conception, giving opportunity for the display of much originality 
in costumes, and well worth all the time and trouble which may be expended upon 
its presentation. Of all forms of entertainment gotten up to interest children, 
nothing exceeds the beauty of a Fairy March, and this one lacks nothing which 
could give grace to such a performance. It only requires about forty minutes to 
present, and for that reason, very small children might be trained for the Spring 
Fairies' part, children a little larger for the Summer Fairies, those still older for 
the Autumn Fairies, and those larger yet for the Winter Fairies. It should really 
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tainment, nothing could exceed the attractiveness of the Fairies of the Seasons for 
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Jigamaree. Nautical Operetta in two acts for male characters. Writ- 
ten by Maude Elizabeth Inch. Music by V. HammereL.net .75 

An attractive little operetta suitable equally well for the older or younger element 
of "boys." Specialties, such as dancing of a hornpipe, etc., can be introduced. 
Scenery and costumes need not be elaborate. 

Magic Ring, The. Operetta. Th. Schmid and L. Bonvin net .75 

This little romantic, comic operetta is so arranged that it may be performed with 
equal effect by either boys or girls and may be given with or without a chorus. 
The plot is entertaining, the music is very pleasant and singable, lying well 
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musical. Part of the text is spoken, but most of it is sung. Folk lore enters into 
the story, as when the voice of the cuckoo is heard. There is a magic ring 
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play and sing, dwarfs appear; for girls there is a fairy queen with fairy attend- 
ants. The text of the book is given both in English and German. 

The Bogus School Inspector. Frank Booth net .60 

A comic operetta for boys or girls, or both, in two acts, 7 characters and chorus. 
Time, about one hour. An exceedingly amusing play with humorous incidents. 

The Enchanted Apple. A. J. Foxwell and V. Hammerel net .60 

A dramatic cantata, chiefly girl characters. Two-part choruses. Time, l l / 2 hours. 

A Musical Picnic. E. O. Gilbert net .50 

Operetta for female voices. Four characters. Time, about 20 minutes. 

May Queen, The. A fairy cantata in two scenes. Anthony J. 

Schindler net .60 

Different flowers are supposed to be represented as the Little Floral Maidens, 
with the sentiments belonging to the flowers chosen. There is a squabble between 



Price 
Old Singing Woman, The. Written by Maude Elizabeth Inch. 

Music by V. Hammerel net .75 

A quaint little operetta in one act for female voices. It is cast for six characters, 
but more may be introduced in the chorus of shepherdesses, if desired. Three of 
the cast have solos, one of whom must have an exceptionally good voice. This 
is the part designed for The Old Singing Woman, who has stolen the voices of 
so many young girls, that she js enabled to sing extraordinarily well herself. She 
has a soprano voice, as has Celia (a shepherdess), whose voice she steals. The 
Fairy who gives warning to the shepherdesses, sings a solo in mezzo-soprano, and 
the chorus of shepherdesses is composed of altos and sopranos. The work is a 
bright, well-written little thing, and is sure to take well with teachers who are 
looking for a fanciful composition to show off good voices. 

Verdict of the Flowers, The. Cantata. Written by James Watson. 

Music by C. H. Lewis net .60 

An exquisite little production composed entirely for female voices. The first 
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but~may be simply and inexpensively made. The whole performance may be 
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Old Glory or "The Boys of '76." A patriotic operetta for boys. 

Anthony J. Schindler net .60 

A fine operetta for boys exclusively, and is particularly suitable for National 
celebrations. There are soldiers of the Continental and soldiers of the British 
armies, and officers of both sides. The dialogue earnestly appeals to the average 
boy, to say nothing of the uniforms, and, taken as a whole, the work is an excel- 
lent one of its kind. It requires some good voices for the singing parts, of which 
there are seven numbers; three solos, one trio, and three choruses, but it is a 
work which will repay all effort expended. 

OPERETTAS AND CANTATAS FOR ADULTS 

Bells of Elfarnie, The. A cantata for solo and chorus (three parts) 
1 of female voices, with accompaniment of piano or strings. 

Written by Arthur J. Godden. Music by Hugh Blair.... net .75 

The work is one which should appeal strongly to ladies' choirs and girl schools' 
choruses and other similar bodies of singers. "Bells of Elfarnie" is well written, 
modern (but not too much so) and of reasonable length. It is laid out for two 
solo voices (soprano and contralto) and three-part chorus. Dr. Blair always 
writes charmingly for voices, and this cantata is no exception to his general rule. 
On the contrary, he may be said to approach a higher level of excellence in this 
cantata than he has hitherto attained in works of the same kind. He is partic- 
ularly happy in his use of the leit-motif. 

Bulbul. Comic operetta in two acts for mixed voices. With accom- 
paniment of piano or orchestra. Written by Maude Eliza- 
beth Inch. Music by W. Rhys-Herbert. Vocal score. ...net 1.00 

Stage manager's book net .75 

"As if increase of appetite had grown by what it fed on" we had many letters 
from our friends in various sections, making inquiry as to future work by W. 
Rhys-Herbert and Maude Elizabeth Inch. It gives us much pleasure to announce 
to them and to the public in general, therefore, that we are now ready to offer 
another charming operetta by these gifted authors. "Bulbul" is their latest pro- 
duction, and is about as quaint and alluring in its attractiveness as it is possible 
to conceive a musical travesty. "Look at thy heart and write," said Sir Phillip 
Sydney. We would add, "music," for as Emerson says, "Music is the poor man's 
Parnassus." Probably neither of these great men had in mind such writings or 
such music as is contained in "Bulbul," "Sylvia" or "A Nautical Knot," but 
- another great man, Richard Wagner, has said, "Melody is the absolute language in 
which the musician speaks to every heart," and surely the music of Rhys-Herbert 
speaks to all hearts— in mirth and gladness, in cheer and animation. The new 
operetta, "Bulbul," is inspiring in its fun-provoking qualities. It will prove to 
be thoroughly interesting from commencement to finish. There is not a dry 
movement in it. The music is bright, melodious, tuneful, healthful, with no catch- 



penny smartness about it. The lyrics are mirth-provoking to an almost unheard 
of degree, and the text portions being so absolutely funny that we defy any one 
to come away from a performance without a goodly fund of laughter stored up 
for future strength and health. There are eight characters in the main cast 
and in addition there are also Maids of Honor, and attendants to th^ Prince 
making opportunity for an elaborate cast of characters, when desired. In the 
_ last act the minuet is danced, and the scene is indescribably beautiful. 

King Hal. A romantic opera in three acts. For mixed voices with 
piano or orchestral accompaniment. Written by Daniel 
O'Connell and Allan Dunn. Music by Humphrey Stewart 

Vocal score net l2 $ 

Libretto net .25 

_ , . Chorus score net 1.00 

The scene of the opera is at Windsor. Dr. Stewart's music is light and tuneful 
and has all the elements of success. There are many "catchy" melodies, and the 
concerted work is generally built up well. Of course there is a waltz — and it is 
a good one — which in this instance is shared by soloists and chorus. "King Hal" 
is not too difficult a work for an organization that has had some previous 
experience. 

"A Nautical Knot" or "The Belle of Barnstapoole." Operetta in two 
acts for mixed voices. With piano or orchestral accompani- 
ment. Written by Maude Elizabeth Inch. Music by W. 

Rhys-Herbert. Vocal score ne t 1.00 

Stage manager's book net .75 

Sylvia. Arcadian operetta in two acts. For mixed voices. With 
piano or orchestral accompaniment. Written by Maude 
Elizabeth Inch. Music by W. Rhys-Herbert. Vocal score.. net 1.00 

Stage manager's book net .75 

Over 1,000 performances by amateur organizations (church choirs, high school 
choruses, etc.) of the above mentioned operettas have been reported. The best 
possible recommendation. 

The Drum-Major. Operetta in two acts. For soli and chorus of 
mixed voices. Book and lyrics by Maude Elizabeth Inch. 

Music by Edward F. Johnston. Vocal score 1.00 

Vocal score with book in French'. ....... 1 00 

In "The Drum-Major" the author has drawn upon the Eighteenth Century for 
inspiration, and has produced a very attractive story of the First Empire in France 
The tone is distinctly military. Sergeant Leroux has arrived in Passy, near Paris 
for the purpose of enlisting recruits for the army. Unfortunately his visit has 
fallen upon the village fete-day, and the young men are indifferent to the charms of 
military glory. In addition to this, Clarice Dupre, a general's daughter is the 
innocent cause of the Sergeant being left severely alone. On discovering this she 
offers her services, and in a short time all the young men of the place, catching 
her enthusiasm, join the colors. Jean, the village musical genius, is completely 
enthralled by the beauty of Clarice and the dream of writing a march that will 
inflame the soldiers to unheard-of feats of bravery. His sweetheart, Babette 
mourns his departure, while Leroux, deeply in love with Clarice, marches away 
with no less than fifty-six future field marshals. Act Two opens with the cele- 
brations which follow the fall of the Bastile, two years later. Clarice, hoping to 
have news of Leroux, comes back to Passy, but nothing is known save that Jean's 
march-song has become famous. Suddenly the wearv soldiers are seen limpine 
back painfully to their native town. Babette joyfully 'forgives Jean and Clarice is 
gladdened by the arrival of the brave Sergeant, who forgets in the arms of 
his dear lady-love all the toils and tribulations of the campaign. Of the twenty- 
eight numbers in this operetta there are so many worthy of praise that we scarcely 
know which to select for special commendation. The song of Leroux in the First 
Act, "What Sound is That Which Breaks the Air?" with the chorus, "Tramp, 
tramp, tramp!" and the chorus in the second act "Frenchmen Up and On to 
Glory!" are particularly strong and martial. Cast: Clarice (soprano), the prettiest 
woman in Paris; Sergeant Leroux (tenor) of the French Armv; Tean (baritone) 
the village musical genius: Babette (alto), his adoring sweetheart; Julien, Gaspard! 
Pierre, recruits; Antoinette, Susanne, Jacqueline, village girls; Victor (speaker's 
role), a boy of the village; Marcel (speaker's role), a prominent citizen and "orator 
of the day." Chorus* Villagers, girls, recruits, etc. With piano or orchestral 
accompaniment. 



Ten Sketches from Charles Dickens 

H The following sketches are intended to interest the young people in the 
works of Dickens, who did so much by his writings to improve the conditions of 
child-life. He was one of the first to realize the enormous value of children to the 
State, and all his life he was the warm champion of childood against oppression 
and wrong. 

The sketches have been arranged so that they may be performed with the 
simplest possible scenery and accessories. The dresses should be in most cases, in 
the early Victorian style, and when these cannot be borrowed from friends or a 
costumer, it is advisable that they should be made up by the performers in some 
cheap and simple material. One Door or Entrance is sufficient for each scene, and, 
though a Curtain is preferable, Screens may be used if it is impossible to arrange a 
curtain. 

Cratchit's Christmas Dinner, The A . f cene from . " A c hr L stm " Carol;" arranged as a 

waii.Miiiviu«uua^ui U w, * u« dialogue or short play by Mary Farrah. 3 males, 3 
females and 2 children (silent) net .15 

Dnll'ft Dr*»t« Maker Thp A scene from "Our Mutual Friend; "arranged as a dialogue or 
l/OIl 9 UTC99 ITIdKCr, 1 UC snQrt p , ay by Mafy p arrah# x ma]e and : femaJe net 1S 

Onfrfiphnv* Hall A scene from "Nicholas Nickleby;" arranged as a dialogue or short play by 

vruuicuujrs tiaii Mary Farrah. 4 males, 1 female and a cla^s of school boys net .15 

larlpv'c WaY-Wnrlr A scene from "Old Curiosity Shop;" arranged as a dialogue or short 
JOTiey 5 TTOA TTUrK play by Mary Farrah. 1 male and 2 females net .15 

1 pctnn in Dpnnrfrmpnf A A scene from "Little Dorrit;" arranged as a dialogue or short 

LeSSOIl m Ueponmem, A play by Mary Farrah. 1 male and 2 females net .15 

Mndpl Srhnnl Thp A scene from "Hard Times;" arranged as a dialogue or short play by 
moaei 3CD.001, ine Mary Farrah# 4 males. 1 female and class of children ....net .15 

Mr Edwin Drnnd to 8PP. Mi« Rn<a A scene from "Edwin Drood;" arranged as a dla- 

mr. tawm isrooa 10 sec miss ivosa Iogue or snort play by Mary Farrah 1 male and 

2 females net .15 

Mr* fiamn'ft Tpa-Partv A scene from "Martin Chuzzlewit;" arranged as a dialogue or 

hits, uamp s i ea-rarty short play by Mary Farrah> 2 femaIes * ret 1S 

Runawav Cminlp A A sc en e from "Boots at the Holly-Tree Inn;" arranged as a dialogue 

ftuuawajr VUU|J1C, A or short play by Mary Farrah. 2 males and 1 female net .15 

Start in I ifp A A scene from "Dombey & Son;" arranged as a dialogue or short play by 
diari in Lire, A M ary Farrah. 3males ....net .15 

Sketches from Jane Austen, George Eliot, Mrs. Gaskell 
and R. B. Sheridan 

Lady Catherine is Annoyed with Elizabeth Bennet £j£5? {£ m Jan p e ri AusJfn!^ 

females .net .15 

Mr. Collins PrnnntPJt A scene from "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. 1 male and 
«. vvuuisiivpvscs 2 females net .15 

Annt Cle?ff OliarrpU with Mr Tnllivpr A scene from "The Mill on the Floss" by 

/mm uiegg vjuarreis wiin rar. i uiiiver George Eliot 2 males and 3 females net 1S 

Mrs* Poyser has her Say OUt A scene from "Adam Bede" by George Eliot. 2 males and 

* ' * 1 female net .15 

Bank Breaks The A scene from "Cranford" by Mrs. Gaskell. 1 male and 3 females 

' net .15 

Onarrpl Srpnp TJip from "The School for Scandal" by R. B. Sheridan. 1 male and 1 

veuarxci uLent, ine fema , e ret 15 

J- FISCHER & BRO. - - 7, 8 and 11, Bible House - - NEW YORK 



YOUNG AMERICA O 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

016 102 515 A # 
1W1 AJLukJ A A Vfl 



SELECT COMPOSITIONS 

Specially Arranged for 

School and Amateur Organizations 



10 


14 Full 


Pla. 


Pts. 


Pts. Orch. 


Ace. 


.60 


.80 J. 00 


.20 



Under the Palm Trees; Waltz. R. Sinnhold 

Alma Polka G. F. Alice Lagardc 

Hosanna P. Wachs ) ^ tJQQ M 

The Perfect Day P. Scheuren ) 

Camellia ; Melodie ) c n v on ( f A ( oc ACi 

v . , , , T A ~ L rS. C Yon .90 1.J0 J.25 .40 

Knickerbocker ; Intermezzo-Gavotte ) 

The Rally; March. S. T. Paul 40 .60 .15 

Viennese Waltz. J. Lewis Browne 40 .60 .15 

A Nautical Knot; Overture. W. Rhys -Herbert J. 00 1. 25 J. 50 .30 

The Harvest Moon; Waltz (from " Sylvia ")♦ 

W. Rhys Herbert 60 .80 U 00 .20 

FOR SMALL ORCHESTRA 

1st and 2nd Violin, Viola, Cello, Bass, Flute, Clarinet, Cornet, 
Trombone, Tympani and Piano 

FISCHER'S AMERICAN ALBUM 

TWO VOLUMES 

The volumes can also be had in arrangements as follows! 

3616b Violin and Piano $ .75 

3616a Two Violins and Piano MX) 

3617b Violin, Cello and Piano *-25 

3617a Two Violins, Cello and Fano.. J.50 

3618b Violin, Flute and Piano J-25 

3618a Two Violins. Flute and Piano 1-50 

3619b Violin. Cello, Flute and Piano J.75 

3619a Two Violins, Cello, Flute and Piano 2.00 

Viola, Bass, Clarinet, Cornet. Trombone and Tympani parts. O- .50 

J. Fischer ft Brr „ 7, 8 and 11, Bible House, New York 







816Tb5-S3V # 



'I 



